Two sides of a trade almost never add up to exactly the same number, and they do not have to. A trade is fair when the gap between the two sides is small enough that it does not really move value from one person to the other.
1. Add up each side from sold prices
Look up every card on both sides the same way. Use what copies actually sold for, not what people are asking. Match the exact card: the set, the card number, the finish and the language. A slab is priced from sales of the same grade, and a raw card from raw sales.
Cash counts at face value. Ten dollars in cash on one side is worth ten dollars, no matter what else is in the trade.
2. Use the same rate on both sides
Dealers usually pay a percentage of market so they can resell. If you agree on a rate, it has to apply to both sides. A rate on one side only is a discount, and it is the most common way a trade turns unfair without anybody saying anything untrue.
3. Compare the gap with the bigger side
Subtract the smaller total from the bigger one. Then ask how big that gap is next to the bigger side. Bartr calls a trade fair when the gap is under 3% of the larger side. It is a band on purpose: on a big trade, a few dollars of difference is noise.
A worked example, with round hypothetical numbers. Your side adds up to $200 and theirs to $195. The gap is $5. Three percent of $200 is $6, so this trade is inside the band. Fair.
Now say their side is $180. The gap is $20, which is 10% of your side. That is outside the band. Adding about $20 in cash or a filler card to their side brings it back.
Fair is not the only thing that matters
Sometimes you want a card enough to give a little extra for it, and that is your call. The point of checking is to know the gap before you agree, so a trade is a choice you made on purpose rather than a surprise you find out about later.
Also check the things a total does not show: the condition of each raw card, whether a slab's cert number looks up correctly, and whether both of you are looking at the same printing.
When the numbers are close but you are not sure
Ask for a minute, look the cards up again, or ask someone you trust to check your math. A good trade still looks good after a second look.
Bartr adds up both sides for you as you scan, applies the same rate to each, and shows the gap as a percent of the bigger side.
Get Bartr for iPhone, or try the trade calculator in your browser first. Neither needs an account.